I didn’t learn in time how to express my negative feelings. I had many set-ups like «good girls don’t scream», «don’t confront», «don’t raise voice» and so on.
I cried every time I accumulated big amount of negative feelings. It was difficult to tell someone that I didn’t like something or that I don’t agree with something straight away. I think I was scared of the rejection or confrontation from others. I remember some years ago I had all the time pain in different parts of my body. I had headaches, stomach pains, sinusitis etc. I wasn’t at all conscious about my feelings.
How interesting was my observation when I began to express myself. The psychosomatics come very rare compared to the past. Many diseases we have are due to our unexpressed feelings. I work on myself and try not to direct my anger towards myself. It's a very strong pattern and sometimes I still do the same like in the past.
If you have something similar you don’t necessarily should scream it out.It’s more about being yourself and share your opinion straight away. If you feel angry or disappointed with someone don’t hide it, be honest to your own feelings and experience even if it doesn’t sound right to others.
I especially had problems at the begging of my integration to another culture. I felt many times stupid or didn’t know how I can express myself. I learned the lesson that it shouldn’t be this way. You can take the best from every culture but you should remember about your core anywhere.
I don't know what you do to get rid of your anger! I sometimes go to the forest and scream, I can hit my pillow for meditation, I can be honest about my feelings with others, I can talk to someone and can ask for the support. I know that the most important that you shouldn't direct your frustration on yourself!