“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”
― Sigmund Freud
I understand now more what responsibility means to me after I started my studies in Gestalt Institute. I began to think a lot about my responsibility in connection with my relationship with different people, with myself, with what I have achieved in life. I started to think more of my responsibility when I failed or argued with someone. I often used to blame people around that something wasn’t working out. In the past it was more difficult to take the responsibility for my own failures and frustration. I often felt that people around me weren't good enough. I didn't look much on my own reactions, limitations, set-ups and projections.
When I started focus more on my own responsibility, at first feelings of shame and guilt began to appear more often. I wanted to blame again someone. I did it so it helped me to feel better but it was just temporary. In general, this scheme can work out very well throughout life. In this way I didn't grow personally because all my energy and potential were waisted on thinking of someone else fault.
When you constantly blame someone, you deny your own responsibility, and therefore limit yourself and your choices. You can try to ask yourself a simple question "What is my responsibility in what is happening in my life"? "Why do I have again the same situation in my life" and then direct your attention to your feelings that arise at that moment.
By focusing more on your feelings, and identifying yourself with every part of yours, you can feel more freedom. You can begin to hear your deep impulses, hidden desires, and better understand your needs.
You can observe more your own destructive patterns, catch yourself in constant avoiding of feelings which are difficult for you and running from your own responsibility. This process could also be very powerful if you have a tendency to devaluate your own achievements. It can help you to realize your own personal value in what turned out good and successful in life.